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1:41 AM - April 17, 2011
Lace
At the moment i'm exhausted, and alone.

1:38 AM - April 17, 2011
Two Worlds
The boy i liked will soon be gone.

4:10 PM - April 12, 2011
Knots
"Who tied the other / End of my rope? / I want to move on / I want to have hope." -Trust in you, The Offspring

4:04 PM - April 12, 2011
Vacuum
"It's 50,000 to have your body sent into space."

"That's alot of money. Is that way you want?"

"No i want to buried in cement. I figured it would be a waste of money to be sent, because when the planet finally explodes we will all be in space. So it doesn't really matter."

6:22 AM - April 12, 2011
Heaven Refused
"I gave up tomorrow to spite today." -Trust In You, The Offspring

4:45 AM - April 11, 2011
Blood Ties
I love Katie as if she were my little sister. And when her brother and i were younger, everyone thought we were siblings, but we always denied it. He is a month younger than me, and just as sweet, perhaps more.

5:03 AM - April 10, 2011
Gray Skies
At two points in my life i met men willing to provide me with whatever i wanted, if i would only date them. Both times i ended up refusing.

4:52 AM - April 10, 2011
Down The Drain
I wonder what my sister dreams about and if she will ever be happy.

1:57 AM - April 10, 2011
Fluke
I managed to take out the children's plastic playground arch yesterday, trying to tag Taya and ended up with a horrible headache. It hasn't stopped.

6:02 AM - April 08, 2011
Look At Me
Whether the water is like ice or not, this summer i'm dragging your ass into it and we are going tubing. That is a promise.

5:11 AM - April 06, 2011
Poker Face
This way, they can't win.

4:22 AM - April 06, 2011
He's Picky, You See
I'm waiting to fail, hoping. And on that day i will smile, and say, "thank you Brent. I knew i couldn't keep this up, but I just couldn't give in. I appreciate you trying me out."

4:07 AM - April 06, 2011
Break Out
There's a part of me that's easily hurt, that wants to quit already. The half that knows this job isn't for me. The other half wants thicker skin, and wears a fool's mask. She often wins out, the crazy bitch.

12:17 AM - April 06, 2011
Flag
They are training me, but it's still no guarentee that i will be able to keep the job. This whole being good, but never good enough has always bothered me, but if it's enough to catch up on the bills, then I'll be okay.

6:35 AM - April 05, 2011
Accidentally In Love
You were right, the perfect guy for me would be helping me up after i slipped, when shouting, "SQUIRREL!" and pointing. He would laugh and say, "LOOK. There's another!" He would not run ahead of me, or leave me behind. (Ps. I hope her shirt is white, when she drives in and you spray her.)

5:41 AM - April 05, 2011
Layman
This nervousness is eating it's way out.

5:38 AM - April 05, 2011
Root Of Evil
Had i been honest, i would of said try not to fuck up. This whole raising kids shit, isn't easy.

5:18 AM - April 05, 2011
Fact 44
I will never have a girl.

5:08 AM - April 05, 2011
Picture Perfect
She says i don't have to do this, but i'm sick of fighting. All she ever does, is contradict herself. My brother said she hadn't changed, but maybe i'm realizing i just can't stomach her real self. I think she has.

4:34 AM - April 05, 2011
Engines Fail
"See i was thinking i lost my mind / But it's been getting to me all this time / It don't stop dragging me down." -Tranqulize (The Killers feat. Lou Reed)

6:26 AM - April 04, 2011
21 Questions
Very few people see the person you do.

7:25 PM - April 02, 2011
Colder Weather
They are going to try me out Tuesday, so i'm really excited. Which is a scary thing, because it's rare. I also found out from Kallie, that the lady who runs bingo Thursday nights, needs a caller. It's only two hours and might be worth saying yes to. Anyway the bar job is Tues, Thurs and Sat, then when ever they need me. In the summer, it gets busier and i will have more hours. Let's hope everything works out.

4:40 PM - April 02, 2011
Be Happy, Be Happy
I kept asking for things to get better, and here's my chance, so i'm going for it.

8:44 PM - April 01, 2011
Fact 61
I never panic when it comes to tests.

8:43 PM - April 01, 2011
Curtain Call
The cleaning lady at the bar quit, and it's 3 days a week, $10 an hour. Tomorrow i'm going to go see the owners, that's more than $400 a month, which would really help out. I'm really nervous. If i get it, i will have to get an active bank account again too. I haven't used one in over two years.

1:00 AM - April 01, 2011
Throwing Snow
"Your laughing at nothing, because otherwise you would be crying."

2:31 AM - March 31, 2011
The Fall
"Another brick / Another window frames the confusion / Her garden blooms / But Sara can't see straight / She's drinking herself blind." -Automatic Flowers, Our Lady Peace

7:59 PM - March 30, 2011
Big Bang Theory
Seriously loves the Shenny pairing. (Sheldon x Jenny) It reminds me of My Life As A Teenage Robot, but way better.

11:00 PM - March 29, 2011
His Heart Failed
I was the one to tell them their dad had died, because no one else could say those words. The docter had already left the room.

6:06 AM - March 29, 2011
Shot Glasses
I miss walking home at night, paranoid something's going to jump out at me, or i'm going to have to run. Those nights were the only thing feared back then. That kind of fear i can live with, because it was unfounded. It was only up the street.

5:38 AM - March 27, 2011
One After Another
Sometimes her life feels like a dream, and she wonders when when she's going to wake up, what year it will be.

6:21 AM - March 26, 2011
Splendid Feathers
My aunt watched her daughter's wedding video days before she died. If i get married, i plan to ask Porky to walk me down the isle. He was the closest thing to a father figure i had.

6:12 AM - March 26, 2011
Place, Point, Stare
Spring reminds me of lilac buds, that covered the branches when i was younger. They always bloomed before the roses, and we lost them when we moved. It makes me a little sad.

6:11 AM - March 26, 2011
Fringed Rue
My cousin is going to auntie's tomorrow with the kids. She's fighting with Chris again, and he's always turning her down. Mom said it was because her dad won't pay the money back he owes. I just think they weren't in love to begin with.

9:17 PM - March 25, 2011
Not Quite Ready
Mom has decided to talk to/tell the landlords that our trailor's leaks are getting worse. The one room's ceiling looks like rolling waves and the other is about to fall down. I should be preparing for war, an unconscious part warns. I don't even want to be home that day.

11:14 PM - March 22, 2011
The Third Day
If you could go back in time, and save your family's lives, would you? What if i also cost your very existence, would you still do it? Could you?

7:32 AM - March 21, 2011
Agent
So i finally caught up on my reading, aside from a few Hwang Mi Ri manhwa. The last twenty something chapters of Narutaru are on hold, until i can regain my interest in the series. And i found all the volumes of Black & White, which Tekkon Kinkreet is based on. It should be finished by tomorrow, or withen the next month, depending on my mood and other updates.

5:36 AM - March 19, 2011
Bleed Through
No matter what they said, she never planned to live past 22. It was like a roadblock in her head, everything that would happen, would happen now. There was no after, she knew.

5:53 PM - March 17, 2011
Hard Crust
I have a firm belief that however you act drunk, is a part of your true personality. That is why i am a happy drunk, and my uncle married his perfect match. Both know how to push my buttons.

3:49 AM - March 17, 2011
Biffed Her
I managed to bruise my hand and knee again, when i slid on the ice and hit pavement. It hurt.

6:50 AM - March 15, 2011
Nightmare Single
And she says, "i love you, like i love myself. Which is weird, because it is despite everything..."

6:06 AM - March 15, 2011
Flowery Bowery
Sometimes she thinks pretty words just aren't enough.

6:01 AM - March 15, 2011
Pictures Last Longer
I'D TAP THAT.
OVER THE HEAD
WITH A SHOVEL.

5:49 AM - March 14, 2011
When Abel Looked Up At Cain
I wish i didn't worry so much...

7:38 AM - March 13, 2011
Roll
"Because she is one in a million." -Lucky Girl, Nemisor

6:40 AM - March 13, 2011
Extremes
What amuses me the most about you, is how you care about your shoes and i don't. Mine are always covered in something, and rarely clean. To tell you the truth, they make me smile, every time i see them. It reminds me i have lived.

8:59 AM - March 11, 2011
Shuffle
Chemicals, (Armor For Sleep)
Born To Bleed, (A Thorn For Every Heart)
Not Listening, (The Offspring)
Lady Melody, (Tom Frager)
My Heroine [acoustic], (Silverstein)
Use Me, (Garbage)
Message Of Regret, (Kagamine Rin)
Love is War, (Hatsune Miku, Saki Fujita)
Run Devil Run, (Ke$ha)
Leave Me Alone, (Pink)
Lips Like Morphine, (Skillet)
So In Love (Before Their Eyes)
Story Of A Girl, (Three Doors Down)
Clean Sheets, (Atreyu)
Give Me A Reason, (Maki)
Going Under (Evanesence)
Revolver, (Madonna feat David Guetta)
Let It Go, (Lorene Drive)
Never Again, (Nickelback)
Shut Up And Drive, (Rihanna)
She Fell, (Evans Blue)
Blueberry Yum Yum, (Ludacris)
Time Bomb, (Faber Drive)
Can't Stop, (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Piano Man, (Billy Joel)
Sooner Or Later, (Breaking Benjamin)
Airplanes (BOB feat Hayley Williams)
Planning A Prison Break, (The Recieving End Of Sirens)
Love Addict (Family Force 5)
Fell In Love, (Flipsyde)
Addicted (Saving Abel)
Hard Rock Hallelujah (Lordi)
Starlight, (Evans Blue)
Somebody's Hero, (Jamie O'Neal)
Accidently In Love (Counting Crows)
It's Not Me It's You, (Skillet)
I'm a Bitch (Alanis Morissette)
Evilyn, (Lordi)
Broadcast Quality, (The Recieving End Of Sirens)
Be Free, (The Offspring)
Stronger Stars, (t.A.T.u)
Why Do You Love Me, (Garbage)
Tranqulizer, (The Killers feat. Lou Reed)
Move, (Thousand Foot Krutch)
The Bitch Song, (Bowling For Soup)
Starstruck, (Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy)
Go Google It, (Megurine Luka & Kamui Gakupo)
Not Ready To Make Nice, (The Dixie Chicks)
Bad Apple!!! (Touhou)
Situations (Escape The Fate)
These Things (She Wants Revenge)
Almost, (Tracy Chapman)
Beer For My Horses, (Toby Keith)
Where's Your Head At? (Faixia 14)
Needles, (Seether)
Take It Away, (The Used)
It Ends, (Faber Drive)
Not My Idea (Garbage)
Under The Gun, (The Killers)
As Your Falling Down, (Escape The Fate)
You're Gonna Go Far Kid, (The Offspring)
Ticket To Heaven, (3 Doors Down)
Ookami No Nodo (Zombie-Loan Track)
Love Drunk (Boys Like Girls)
Your Love Is My Drug, (Ke$ha)
Brick By Boring Brick, (Paramore)
I Can't Do This, (Plumb)
Bad Influence, (Pink)
Push It, (Garbage)
Spaceman, (The Killers)
Girl All The Bad Guys Want, (Bowling For Soup)
A Theory, (Tracy Chapman)
Vow, (Garbage)
Ridiculous, (Bowling For Soup)
A Step Back, (Evans Blue)
Look Out Below, (Closure)
Circus, (Britney Spears)
She Loves Me Not, (Papa Roach)
Fall Into Me, (Emerson Drive)
Crawling In The Dark, (Hoobastank)
Going Down In Flames, (3 Doors Down)
Sugar, (Kids In The Way)
I Love Myself Today, (Bif Naked)
Leather Pants [remix] (Yugioh Abridged)
Shut Your Mouth, (Garbage)
Why 6 Is Afraid Of 7, (Before Their Eyes)
Chains, (Zombie-Loan Track)
I Almost Told You That I Loved You, (Papa Roach)
Should've Listened, (Nickelback)
Villian, (Yugioh Abridged)
Your Girlfriends Ugly, (Emily's Toybox)
Pressure, (Paramore)
My Obsession, (Skillet)
Amazed (The Offspring)
Tyranny Of Normality, (The Offspring)
The Diary Of Jane, (Breaking Benjamin)
Stop This Song [lovesick melody] , (Paramore)
One Fine Day, (The Offspring)
A Dustland Fairytale, (The Killers)
When I Grow Up, (Garbage)
Blow, (Atreyu)
The Sailor Song, (Toybox)
Can't Repeat, (The Offspring)
Video Killed The Radio Star, (Radiohead)
Hot Mess, (Ashley Tisdale)
Hero Points, (Abominomious)
Monster, (Lady Gaga)

7:38 AM - March 10, 2011
Source
"I've waited all this time / I've wasted so much time." -Falling Inside The Black, Skillet

7:32 AM - March 07, 2011
The Doors
It reminds me of all the counsellors, that saught me out, not one of them really helped.

6:21 AM - March 07, 2011
Moving On
Katelynn thinks it's her fault, that her father died, because she stressed him out. Last week, a teacher she doesn't like, kept at her and she packed her up her stuff and left school. Their counsellor followed her to the graveyard and after watching her talk to / scream at her dad's plot, approached.

2:52 AM - March 06, 2011
Wet Floors
She paces back and forth, trying to place that smell. People wonder why she's so paranoid, but they've never lived like this.

5:22 AM - March 05, 2011
Vertigo
I'm glad i know how to catch myself when i'm about to fall, otherwise i would of face planted last night. The cough medicine fucked me up good.

7:37 AM - March 02, 2011
Need Sleep
I went to fix the tap, because it was lose and almost broke the whole white piece that holds the handle on off. Mom is going to kill me, but atleast the dripping stopped.

11:14 PM - March 01, 2011
Lemon Tea
My throat burns, and it hurts to talk.

10:37 PM - February 27, 2011
Tragedies
"We're both broken in our own little ways / We're broken, but we fit together just right / You know i saw the black inside your eyes / I saw they were eclipsed by mine and they looked just right." -Eclipsed, Evans Blue

10:16 PM - February 27, 2011
False Pretense
Kallie decided not to tell Aunty, that if they have what they think she does, there is no cure. She goes in for x-rays tomorrow.

7:30 AM - February 26, 2011
Fact 37
With every step i take, hope leads. I had it tattooed there after i turned fifteen.

6:55 AM - February 26, 2011
Between
I heard that voice again, calling my name in the hall. I almost put my ear to the floor, but stopped myself midway.

12:22 AM - February 26, 2011
Miles Away
You don't know how far it truly is, until you've walked it.

6:04 AM - February 25, 2011
Gun To My Head
For me, the feeling of shame is much worse than betrayal.

5:01 PM - February 24, 2011
Flaky Crust
I laughed when she said the only man you can depend on is your daddy, and put on that jaded air. I asked her if she knew i never really had one.

7:07 AM - February 23, 2011
Friday The 13th
Like Jason, she just keeps coming back for more.

6:07 AM - February 22, 2011
Limitations
It's been a long time since i visited the museum, but it was you who made my day, showing up at our doorstep like that. I missed you so much...

3:34 AM - February 20, 2011
Woah Woah Woah
"I'll tell you something / I am a wolf but / I like to wear sheep's clothing." -Temptation Waits, Garbage

3:32 AM - February 20, 2011
Distortion
We all want to be loved, just not equally.

4:30 AM - February 19, 2011
Jeepers Creepers
We were playing hide and go seek at Jiana's in her basement, when i hid in a spare bedroom. I felt my way through the dark and into the closet. A few minutes later someone sat on the bed and i panicked. I knew they were all outside, and chanted do not touch me, do not touch me as i edged into the doorway. I stood there so they would find me, and then walked out. The sound of the springs haunting me.

4:09 AM - February 18, 2011
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
The man who named me was laid to rest today. And just like that, another person from my life is gone.

8:14 PM - February 15, 2011
Patter Of Feet
Have you ever seen a reflection, that didn't have a living source? I saw him in the mirror and had to do a double take, but didn't say anything to them yesterday. It was bad enough, seeing his dead body move after he had died.

7:47 AM - February 15, 2011
Roll
I spent a couple minutes with the blades in my hands, just staring at the package. There are even extra blades in the handles. I never noticed this before.

7:42 AM - February 15, 2011
Diversions
We both inherited the same traits, and not all of them are good.

2:54 AM - February 15, 2011
Mirror Image
Katie won't go home until everyone leaves and the phone stops ringing. Not that i blame her, but she can't run away forever.

7:01 AM - February 13, 2011
One For The Road
Kallie looked at my brother, and the rest of the people outside and said, "our family is cursed." I almost laughed. What gave you the first clue?

5:51 AM - February 13, 2011
Pooling Blood
Katie's dad died today.

10:14 PM - February 11, 2011
Gum Drops
Things i want most at the moment:
-Gummy Bear Bracelet
-Green Hair Dye
-Carousel Animal Ornaments
-Tekkon Kinkreet Tattoo
-Pierced Ears
-Haunted Episodes
-Zombie Invasion
-Private Gun Lessons
-You

9:34 AM - February 11, 2011
Room For Two
She turned the corner and asked me how i got there, i smiled and said, "i walked." It baffled her.

8:15 AM - February 10, 2011
Fact 42
Of all my friends, i was always the most motherly.

8:01 AM - February 10, 2011
Nine Weeks
(No matter how hard you try) We will never be on the same level again.

7:34 AM - February 10, 2011
Blow
With my pale skin, black hair makes me look almost delicate. A word i usually do not associate with myself.

10:55 PM - February 09, 2011
Secrets
I am my familie's ghost, their silent observer. Occastionally i move things around.

7:15 AM - February 08, 2011
Support
She's like a bird in the water, and as hesistant as a fish to leave.

6:02 AM - February 06, 2011
Podium
I figured you might need to hear this by the time you get back, after that long drive with your father and trying to keep the peace. I love you Ash, i really do and i hope everything works out. I will be watching for that mushroom cloud until then. Please be okay, and please be safe.

8:07 PM - February 04, 2011
Pouring
The windows are raining in nearly every room, my socks are soaked and i ran out of space to place baking pans. I am not happy, nor pleased. Mom fucked off to the bar with Aunty, and i have to deal with this..

6:56 AM - February 04, 2011
Snowplow Backing Up
Her life is full of near misses, what else can she say?

6:14 AM - February 04, 2011
Regal
That edge is all you need sometimes...

3:30 AM - February 03, 2011
Script
"But it's too late for his love / Already caught in a trap / His angel's kiss was a joke / And she is not coming back / Because heaven sends and heaven takes / Crashing cars in his brain" -Under The Gun, The Killers

7:54 PM - February 01, 2011
Murmer
There is something wrong with all our hearts.

3:36 PM - January 31, 2011
Exhaustion
Mom woke me up at seven in the morning, shouting about no water. I heard a bang last night, but thought it was just one of those sounds. Please just let them be frozen, i'm not in the mood for people running around the house today.

8:20 AM - January 31, 2011
All She Said
More often then not, i am the salt in your wounds.

12:36 AM - January 29, 2011
Borderline
People who whisper in front of each other should be smacked.

6:08 PM - January 28, 2011
Heading
Birthdays are always so anti-climatic for me, and leave me disappointed. No matter the fun, it's just another day for everyone else.

6:27 AM - January 27, 2011
Mystery Object
The hardest thing for me to say, is that i need you. I don't want too, but i do.

5:21 AM - January 27, 2011
Last Chance
It doesn't take a genius to figure out, father. If you keep ignoring my date of birth, i will simply stop acknowledging your existence too. And i hope it will hurts, i hope it hurts like hell.

5:31 PM - January 25, 2011
Weak Heart
So at six this morning my other uncle was rushed to the hospital, with all the symptoms of a heart attack.

12:23 AM - January 25, 2011
Janus
I do not like this time of year, i do not like it at all.

10:07 PM - January 24, 2011
Trip
I took the green nail polish off and saw that underneath my nails were still yellow. I finally told mom and she looked at my eyes. I told her it isn't jaundice.

8:48 AM - January 23, 2011
Cheat
Had you asked, i probably would of told you the truth.

8:37 AM - January 23, 2011
Fact 61
There is no doubt in mind, eventually i will test you.

8:05 AM - January 23, 2011
This Does Not Belong To You...
"I'll make it easy for you
And say the things you can't
I know we're growing apart, but it's alright
Told you this day would come
And you'd go off on your own
So don't you get second thoughts."
-Walking Away, She Wants Revenge

7:21 AM - January 23, 2011
Playlist Armour
I'm all for Jughead getting Betty, Archie can have Veronica.

2:55 AM - January 23, 2011
Never Too Late
When we were younger, Kelsie commented on my attraction to reflective surfaces. I didn't dare tell her i was in love with myself. I made up some excuse about looking good, and changed the subject. I was always better at lying then her. The girl in the mirror was everything.

3:20 AM - January 20, 2011
Every You, Every Me
Dirt, dust, the shit beneath your feet. Soon we will all be waste.

3:20 AM - January 20, 2011
Cry Me A River
They still say our last name like it is a curse.

12:33 AM - January 16, 2011
Hear No Evil
My uncle was rushed to Calgary yesterday and if the operation doesn't succeed, he will die. He is puking up shit because of a bowel obstruction, and is in severe pain. And all i can think, was i told you so. I just didn't expect it to be him.

6:08 AM - January 14, 2011
Nuts And Bolts
The first time i ever tried to run away, i remember fighting with my aunt and taking a loaf of bread outside. I filled a garbage bag with all the things i wanted, and stood there looking at it. I realized then i had no where left to go, and i couldn't move it. So i dumped it on the ground, and walked away. That was the last time i tried.

5:59 AM - January 14, 2011
Fast Machine
"All my heroes hit the highway / They don't hang out here no more."
-Steve Mcqueen, Sheryl Crow

4:03 AM - January 14, 2011
Child's Rhymes
I think the first time i heard it, was in the hospital. Marsha's name was being called, and we were the only ones to hear it. The other day, it was surely mine.

8:13 PM - January 13, 2011
Two Days
The voice was like bells.

9:42 PM - January 10, 2011
My Damsel Breathes Fire
"Heroes don't abandon everyone who ever cared about them."
-Role Playing, Roses of Sharon

9:45 AM - January 10, 2011
Goldfish Crackers
I remember the moment i died in your eyes, when i became human. It hurt like hell.

12:29 AM - January 09, 2011
Railing
Why is it all the guys i've liked seemed to start with J, or A? A childhood friend of mine sent me a request on facebook, and i admit i am attracted to him, even if he looks like frankenstien. He's really sweet, and kind, even funny. I doubt i will talk much to him though, unless he intiates anything. His little brother is the cute blonde i told you about. His mom was an artist where i used to work. I really hate to seem eager.

9:10 AM - January 07, 2011
Impact
I may just need bubble wrap walls, or feet that don't fall asleep.

10:07 AM - January 06, 2011
2 AM
There's someone outside my window tapping.

9:24 AM - January 06, 2011
Fact 11
I was born with the cord wrapped around my neck three times.

3:24 AM - January 06, 2011
Dreaming Of You
"Because flowers are made for dying, made for plucking, made for killing."
-Glass Half Emptied, Roses Of Sharon

11:00 PM - January 05, 2011
Tire Tracks
And in the middle of the river she wrote, "I am alive."

10:59 PM - January 05, 2011
Restless
I wondered about how many times i had left my body, and just stood there watching. I wondered who was real.

7:39 AM - January 04, 2011
Adam's Needle
It didn't matter who she was helping, as long as she could.

6:41 AM - January 04, 2011
Offset
My brother once stopped me on my way out, and whispered to himself, "you really hate people, don't you?" The grin on my face must of startled him, because his eyes never saw me the same way again. I had knodded and said, "of coarse" like it was the most natural thing in the world. I never bothered to explain why.

10:37 PM - January 02, 2011
Fact 93
Crafts are second nature to us.

9:20 PM - January 02, 2011
All I Have
When mom had threatened to kill herself, i thought she was an idiot. You never say things like that aloud. I remember the docter wouldn't even go near her, and Kallie blocking the door, i remember wanting to hit her for being so selfish. She wasn't the only one in pain. I remember not feeling a thing as she cried, and everything being crocadile tears.

9:19 PM - January 02, 2011
Sleep Centers
Somewhere along the line, i think we saved each other. When i found those hidden suicide notes last year, i realized how much i had changed. I had grown in ways i never expected, i had found people i loved, and i was happy. Things were going to be okay.

8:04 AM - January 01, 2011
Days Gone By
It's to late to go back now.

 

to haunt, to startle, and way-lay

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