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5:39 AM - June 15, 2011
Survive
A moment of acknowledgement is all we need.

3:23 AM - June 15, 2011
Head Shake
I was singing to aunty today as we were doing laundry, "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor" and she asks me where where five and six went. So i told her, "they didn't quite make it" and i ended up with another question, "where?" Quick thinking revealed, "to the party" when i should of said, "out the door."

3:05 AM - June 15, 2011
Hold My Hand
Even unconsciously, i often refer to myself as we. There is the girl you see, and the one you don't.

4:52 PM - June 13, 2011
Love Guru
I see the women in my life going through men like breath mints, hoping another will change everything. They do not realize a new man won't solve anything, and only make things worse. They need a new approach.

4:48 PM - June 13, 2011
The Cure
"I think about you everyday."

"I really want you too."

-Dr.Jones, Aqua

3:45 PM - June 11, 2011
Waiting For You To Wake Up
I don't believe love can really blind you, you just decide not to see.

6:57 AM - June 11, 2011
Ultra Violet
As we were putting in the screens, mom tried to use my boxcutters, the ones i had hidden away. Too worn down from tearing skin, they couldn't even rip the light mesh. It sickens me in a way, to see someone touch something so private and yet thrilled, because she does not know. She does not realize it.

12:28 AM - June 09, 2011
On Your Toes Girl
I'm at the park, because i don't want to be home. I wonder if this is how Kelsie felt, all the times i found her there. Fed up with the rocks in her shoes.

12:14 AM - June 09, 2011
Wanted Signs
Yesterday at work, i managed to get hit in the head by the headboard. I was reaching over to tuck in the cover and it fell. Now once again my head is in pain.

12:04 AM - June 09, 2011
Blind Sided
Kallie sometimes gives me rides home, and today she told me lie to her boyfriend and say i walked to the clinic to get one. Had i known this would of been a problem, i would of said fuck it. Had he said anything, i would of got out and walked. He's got her head beneath water, and she isn't coming up for long.

12:48 AM - June 08, 2011
Early Mornings
I want to buy a dildo for some asshole as a present and tell him it's to replace the stick. It would leave me laughing for a couple days.

4:39 AM - June 07, 2011
Safekeeping
In my head, i always surround myself in mirrors, so when you look at me you don't feel as threatened. So that when they see me, they wander past.

7:26 AM - June 03, 2011
Pound
"Can't you see that this is death, and death is saving me" -Over, Evans Blue

7:08 AM - June 03, 2011
Creepy Sheep
I can't sleep until i tell you a story...

He watches her everyday, staring at the railing. He wants to take her hand, as she sits down and leans against the bars. A frown on her face, her fingers gripping the steel. And one day he gets the courage to ask her, "are you going to jump?"

She looks up and replies, "But i'm already a ghost. Why would i?"

And this makes him think while he counters "but you're still alive."

"I am the ghost of the girl who never tried, and i ended up starving myself here. That water is the closest thing i've felt to home."

He doesn't know what to say, but he sits beside her and watches. Beneath them is another world, where life never stops flowing.

12:40 AM - June 02, 2011
By The Reins
She said she was disappointed in me, and i ended up laughing.

12:33 AM - June 02, 2011
Clip
I've never felt so perfect then when i realized how flawed i was. Maybe it's the endorphines coarsing through my body.

6:13 AM - May 30, 2011
Fucked Up World
My sister is the girl from neverland, that could never adjust. And there is nothing wrong with that fact, except she decided to have kids.

6:09 AM - May 29, 2011
Forget The Guilt
I saw an injured crow today and spoke to him, as he wavered above me. I asked him not to land on me, and he went to the post, and looked at me expediently. I couldn't take him home, so i walked away. I can't do everything everyone expects me too. I don't want too.

3:57 AM - May 27, 2011
Fate Leads
I don't believe that a kiss will wake the princess or turn the frog into the prince. I believe that sometimes, a passionate kiss will have to mean goodbye.

3:52 PM - May 26, 2011
Nasal Spray
You know it's bad when you can no longer tell dreams from reality, because it all feels to real for you.

4:42 AM - May 26, 2011
Red Bucket
I wonder if our neighbours are ever creeped out by me randomly laughing in the middle of the night.

1:38 AM - May 23, 2011
That Dream
We adore thee too.

5:26 AM - May 21, 2011
Heading
I do not like men who directly hit on me. I may be crass sometimes and over the top, but i like subtle men. I like to stay in the background.

5:30 AM - May 20, 2011
Graves
At the bar, i'm watching my uncle's friend slowly kill himself. I see the blood on the sheets, and all the stains i can never get out.

5:09 AM - May 20, 2011
Brown Colleen
My boss said he had seen two shadows in the window. When he came to the door, i popped up from behind and scared him. We had not moved before that.

5:52 AM - May 17, 2011
I'm Only Human
Don't expect me to be so kind.

6:51 AM - May 14, 2011
Fur
In a lot of ways i'm like a cat. I may not seem like much, but when my hackles are raised, i'm something else. The boys have seen it, and aunty today. You've got to learn to stroke me the right way. Otherwise you'll come out with welts and they always get infected, trust me.

6:34 AM - May 14, 2011
The Dire Mother
They think their children so infallible, they do not see the monsters they become.

4:40 AM - May 13, 2011
The Return
"She knew too much about fairytales. 'Don't look back' were words with dire consequences, in those kinds of stories." -Sanctuary, Jack Hawksmoor

3:01 AM - May 13, 2011
Bright Eyes
It doesn't bother me, if you don't believe in it. There are things i'll never be able to explain. Sometimes someone catches my eye and i lose my breath, my heart completely stills. And i feel like i know them, like i've known them for a very long time. And they are strangers, so it's really weird. Today i passed one of them, and almost went to join him on the park bench. For a moment, i had forgotten everything but that need.

5:28 AM - May 11, 2011
Could Of Beens
Your back was facing me and i kept on walking. I told you before, i'm sick of reaching out. You want me, come find me. Mom turned to me and asked, why didn't you say goodbye? He was your friend. I flippantly said was and stalked off. It didn't hurt as much as i expected it too, but i'm still kind of sad.

4:47 AM - May 10, 2011
Retreat
You feel so weak and you can not stand it. You do not understand it.

4:43 AM - May 10, 2011
Soul Blister
The words as you walk in mean so much to me, and i hope you never figure out why.

5:21 AM - May 09, 2011
The Man Outside My Door
I don't like when my mistakes come back to haunt me.

4:37 PM - May 08, 2011
Numbers
My uncle was one of those larger then life people, or maybe it was his personality. No matter how far he went, you had to admire him and his zeal. And when he was finally dying, he died before he hit rock bottom. He got away with it all, that lucky fucker.

6:24 AM - May 07, 2011
Fried Eggs And Rice
Yesterday was one of my good days.

4:51 PM - May 04, 2011
1-Up
My brother is a bigger gossip then my uncle was, or even Katie and aunty. Most of the time i have to shake my head and laugh. At one point, it used to make me feel safe.

5:11 AM - May 04, 2011
Manslaughter
There was a man found in the ditch the other day. He was dragged, beaten and left there all night. They are taking him off life support tomorrow, because he is in to much pain. And all i can think was he should of kept his mouth shut.

9:01 PM - April 30, 2011
Raspberries
Do you remember that episode of Fairly OddParents, when Timmy wants to wish for tickets, but that would mean taking them from someone else because there were none left? I figure luck is a lot like that.

5:01 AM - April 27, 2011
Gloss
Also if i disappear for awhile, my phone charger is fucking up and it's hard to get a hold off. So i may just have to get a new flip on payday. This one is over 4 years old now. The cord alone costs $50.

4:34 AM - April 27, 2011
Ill Advised
One of my friends has been missing since sunday morning, and her dad is freaking out. The cops are searching everywhere.

12:35 AM - April 25, 2011
Family Matters
Not one of us would die for someone else.

12:16 AM - April 25, 2011
Selfless People
When we were younger, Easter was this huge holiday. I used to joke it was my favourite, because i didn't have to walk around for the candy. Now i don't even bother going for dinner, because i'm sick of all the fake pleasentaries. I do not want to have to pretend everything's okay, when it's so obviously not.

12:00 AM - April 25, 2011
Squeal
The truth is i want to see you.

6:57 AM - April 23, 2011
Rock The Cradle
There was a fourteen year old boy trying to flirt with me tonight. Very cute and sweet like Sky was when he was that age. It made me laugh and brought a smile to my face. I can't blame the boy for good taste, but that's way to young for me. He was one of Katie's friends.

6:48 AM - April 23, 2011
Whispers In The Dark
Who ever the voice belongs too, i am grateful. (tell me now, tell me now)

6:05 AM - April 22, 2011
Numero Uno
In my head, those types of girls are still the enemy. I can't get past the angst, and expected betrayals. I don't mean to be rude.

5:50 AM - April 22, 2011
Familiars
This whole comforting thing i'm still getting used too. I try to, but i'm not very good at it. I tend to ramble on, and try to distract you. Most of the time, i don't expect a response back. I just wanted you to know, i cared enough to write in the first place.

2:00 AM - April 21, 2011
Holding Hands
"I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when i don't fall down." - Re-Arranged, Limp Bizkit

4:43 PM - April 19, 2011
Butterflies
Today my friend finds out the sex of her baby.

5:36 AM - April 19, 2011
Fact 63
My sisters and i were all born with a bump on one of our ears.

5:17 AM - April 19, 2011
Eerie
It's like in the movie 'Signs' when Graham Hess can no longer hear his children playing, that kinda silence.

4:42 AM - April 19, 2011
Signs
Lately i've grown more quiet. I don't know why.

6:02 AM - April 18, 2011
Castles
No matter how often you call her home, she will still be sitting there at the park, surrounded in sand and weeds. That is where she belongs.

4:08 AM - April 18, 2011
Continuous Loop
If life were just a game, i could bring you back to life.

4:26 PM - April 17, 2011
Terminal
Sometimes i wonder if it is luck of the draw and someone up there is playing with dice. For them to be any closer is a frightening thought. I wonder if they think our lives are just a game?

 

to haunt, to startle, and way-lay

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