9:11 PM - August 11, 2014
-
Eventually the right words will find me again...

9:04 PM - August 11, 2014
Crooked Smiles
When I draw a heart, one side will always end up bigger than the other. That's says a lot about me, weither I choose to acknowledge it or not.

7:31 PM - August 09, 2014
Expectations
The person you want me to be, cannot exist.

7:17 PM - August 05, 2014
Abandonment Issues
You have different priorities now and I can respect that, but it doesn't mean that it hurts any less. That is my fault, not yours.

6:41 PM - August 05, 2014
Wasted Breath
"With the sins of knowing
What's gone wrong
But doing nothing
I still run."
-A Life Less Frightening, Rise Against

10:44 PM - August 01, 2014
Fact 111
My version of hell without a doubt would be platform based.

3:51 PM - July 29, 2014
Dungeon Crawlers
Even when I'm dreaming, I'm still looting corpses and treasure chests.

12:27 AM - July 20, 2014
Military Grade
We had a tornado forming above our heads in the valley tonight, and our trailer sustained a fair amount of damage. The window panel I was sitting by was smashed by the incoming hale and broke.

I moved after that, rushing mom and Sage into my room's closet, secretly wishing I was alone. I considered the bathroom, but my vanity demands to much glass, making it unsafe in there.

This is the first time we've had weather this bad, with funnels trying to form and with the frequent floods in the past years I've been thinking the conspiracy buffs are right. These are the side effects of weather warfare and it is only just beginning.

10:27 PM - July 10, 2014
Rituals
"I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash away this pain."
-Ghost, Ella Henderson

1:06 PM - July 01, 2014
-
You shouldn't be able to disappoint me, but you always seem too. The part of me that's sick, I don't think can recover because of that. All I want, I can never have.

4:50 PM - June 27, 2014
Fault
I applied to late for college, so I will have to wait a year to try again. The thing is, I'm already so exhausted. I'm afraid to sleep, and yet that's all I want to do. I want to be done, and in some ways I am, but like she said, "it's never really over until your dead."

11:10 PM - June 17, 2014
Preparations
I can't seem to get the ending I want, no matter how many time I go back and try to correct it. I'm tired, but the part of me that fixates, well, it's never done.

6:25 AM - June 17, 2014
Dire Black Rose
Consider this, if i am a torment to my friends, imagine what I'm like to my enemies.

11:26 PM - June 16, 2014
The Countdown
I would be lying if I said I didn't want you to be there, but I won't ask. I would rather stand up there alone then admit I need you, or anyone else.

5:20 PM - June 12, 2014
Missing Epilogue
It's rare for me to not notice what I'm feeling, and have some one else point it out. I'm just trying to survive, and have never been the one to reach for the unattainable. I yearn for it yes, but I'm not the one to take that step, grab for something I can't have. That sadness never really goes away though, and you just get used to not acknowledging it. Knowing how things are going to end, doesn't help either.

9:04 PM - May 28, 2014
Recruitment
I no longer excel the way I used too, even when I do try. Most of the time I'm okay with that, but not today. I just want you to notice me, so I can move on with my life.

9:16 PM - May 24, 2014
Convoluted
For the longest time I just wanted to die and be done with all that dramatic, lady on the tracks type bullshit. Looking up with doe eyes, when mine are more like bourben or tumbling river stones.

Come drown in me they say, it won't take long, I can make it quick. Sometimes I still want to die, just let them finish me off. Then there are the bubbles, the ones that stream up and pop and fill me with hope. I have no clue where they come from.

I'm not sure where I will go, but I can't stay on these tracks waiting. I can't wait for you, or them. I keep telling myself this.

I'm standing indecisive besides the track now, like a good little girl. Angry and kicking the rails.

7:30 PM - May 22, 2014
Cat Calls And Car Windows
There are still days I get paranoid, and wonder how people see me, and then there are others when I can't help but laugh. They have no clue what they are missing.

5:54 PM - May 22, 2014
Norse Gods
Inspired by fanfiction, I asked some guy if anyone had ever told him that he sits like a whore. Took three times to get up the courage, but fuck was it funny. Sometimes it's better not to grow up.

9:44 PM - May 19, 2014
Red Print
Most of the time I spend surfing the web looking at expat blogs and etiquette in different countries, instead of studying for this important chemistry exam like I should be. It's a terrible time for my wanderlust to kick in, but I can't seem to focus on anything else.

7:46 PM - May 07, 2014
-
The truth is, I'm terrified he's going to get so hurt, I cannot care for him. I can't do anything tonight as the vet that does birds isn't in until twelve tomorrow, but half the skin on his foot is missing. There is no blood, but he is in pain and keeps it up often. This is why I don't get attached to things, to people. I can't stop worrying.

6:46 PM - May 03, 2014
-
My cousin pointed out our family was dressed in jeans and dress shirts at the wedding, while the other side were all decked out in suits and formal clothing. He laughed and said we come from a family of rednecks. I agreed and pointed out that my knee length nylons were being held up duct tape under my bridesmaid dress.

1:14 PM - May 02, 2014
Wedding Bells And Bridesmaids
Maybe it's kindness and a love for crafts, or maybe it is revenge for making me a second choice and making you regret it. I don't really care which way you see my actions. I just want to see things beautiful, real, and not this artificial crap. We've had enough of that already.

6:48 PM - May 01, 2014
Measuring Distances
I don't even know if I like you now, but then I did. There's still attraction, but you can't really rely on that for a relationship. You're still too quiet, and I can't stand that.

9:45 PM - April 24, 2014
Shipping Cost
Perhaps I piss you off when I say that our family is dead, or you nod and agree. No one is as overlooking as Grandma anymore, and there is no one left to guide us or hold us together. We are misguided, and lost to our pride. None of us are strong enough to face the truth without being hurt. We choose our vices, our things and our feelings over theirs. We want and judge, and that's about it. We have unrealistic expectations. The others, they look down on us and deny being related to us. I end up scoffing at them. There is no hope for either of us.

9:27 PM - April 24, 2014
Crocus
And what I really want to say is this, "I think you're an idiot for marrying him." But it wouldn't matter to you, and I can't change your mind. Right now only your happiness matters, and it's not something that can last.

9:03 PM - April 15, 2014
-
I will always walk away from that door, unable to raise my hand and knock.

9:16 PM - April 01, 2014
The Struggle
Like a wolf in sheep's clothing, her eyes are what give her away. Teeth as sharp as they are, have nothing of the fierceness of those orbs when cornered.

9:08 PM - March 24, 2014
-
I'm grateful your eyes don't wander up that far, and my scars are thin white lines. It's not that I'm ashamed of them, but they speak for themselves, all one-hundred and eighty of them. Other days I see yours, how orderly they are and want to share, but hold off. I miss open wounds, I miss knowing things.

9:06 PM - March 12, 2014
Stop Signs
The last two days have been bad. I feel like I'll in a waking dream, dazed and without any real sense of direction. The only purpose I have, to move.

7:25 PM - March 06, 2014
Forsworn
If you were the one, wouldn't you be mine already?

9:55 PM - March 03, 2014
Grass
Sometimes I talk to distract myself from all the things I should be saying.

9:18 PM - February 27, 2014
Pinwheel
Quiet people bother me because I have a harder time getting a read on them and feel uncomfortable. I like people that talk to me, about nothing and everything. I like to know that the silence can be filled.

9:11 PM - February 18, 2014
Bee Cannons
She's the kind of girl blowing dandelions in her head, a little off in a lot of ways but with a beautiful heart. I wish you could see her the way I do.

10:24 AM - February 08, 2014
Endings
That gown I tried on yesterday almost made me cry, when I saw myself in the mirror. The girl there was beautiful, elegant and plus sized. Her blue black hair half pulled up, half cascading down. A glint in her eye, half smile on her lips, tilted head. Coy, beckoning... Someone else entirely and born to the wrong time. Someone I attained to be.

7:34 PM - February 04, 2014
Lungs
And it's not even the boy thats breaking my heart, that's why it's so sad.

6:04 PM - February 03, 2014
Anticlimatic
Sometimes I catch you looking back, and wonder if it is more than curiosity. Do you see what I see, or am I imagining things?

6:01 PM - February 03, 2014
Calamity
I fall in love with my head, as strange as it sounds. I get attached to ideas more often then people, and even then, it's usually the idea of them. I guess that's why I get so afraid that I'm making a mistake, that one day I'm gonna fuck up, and lose my heart too.

12:59 AM - January 31, 2014
-
Somehow all I can think of is insults, and how petty I have become.

5:15 PM - January 28, 2014
Silver Hair
Sometimes the people I love spoil me, instead of the other way around. It's rare, but I can't help wishing it was you. Perhaps things will fall into place yet, but I was never one to hold my breath. Today I am twenty-three and tomorrow I will be just abit older.

11:53 PM - January 25, 2014
Caveat
I put off some things, because once they are done I will be yearning or disappointed and my heart can't always take that.

3:45 PM - January 16, 2014
Dodgeball
I can't seem to think that far ahead anymore.

8:32 PM - January 13, 2014
Scruples
Yes, one generation managed to destroy our family name. You're ashamed to be related to us, and your brother was too. The fact is with your badly controlled temper and two faced nature, I almost told you I was glad.

9:08 PM - January 12, 2014
K. Worth
There are good people out there, people that I forget exist sometimes. It warms my heart.

1:47 PM - January 06, 2014
This Is How I Show My Love
I just spilt my heart out to you, clicked on the wrong spot and when i went back everything was gone. It feels like this keeps happening to me, and none of it should matter, but it does.

7:55 PM - January 05, 2014
The Waiting Game
It's your turn to move, not mine.

10:31 PM - December 29, 2013
Apple Pie Moonshine
I think this year, I will say what I want too. If I lose you, it will be one less thing to worry about.

4:05 PM - December 24, 2013
Insufficient
Yes, it's the thought that counts, but that means thinking about the person and what they like, not how cheaply you can get it done and how quickly you can get back to the machines.

1:09 PM - December 23, 2013
Salesman
All I can do now is wait. She can deal with it, it's her fuck up, not mine. I do not have to take responsibility.

10:38 PM - December 20, 2013
Monster
I just hope i can trust you, I've got this terrible feeling of dread.

9:06 PM - December 19, 2013
Wrist Banging
For just one day, I would love for you to see into my head, so you could see how badly you are fucking up.

8:49 PM - December 13, 2013
Humble Beginnings
The thing is I don't know what's worse, the fact that I lost you, or the fact that you don't seem to care.

8:24 PM - December 09, 2013
Circles
Normality after this long scares me, but I can't help wanting it. I want the friends, the girls nights and the gossip. I want the boyfriend (my gordo), and the good job. The house of my own, and the ability to host.

9:20 PM - December 02, 2013
Zinnia
I swore I wouldn't get close to people again, that I wouldn't fall behind. I lied.

9:16 PM - December 02, 2013
Knocker
Some days my bed shakes, as if little earthquakes are hitting or perhaps the mining tunnels below us collapsing. No one else ever seems to mention them, but it bothers me.

9:39 PM - November 25, 2013
-
The call came the day after, but I've been terrified and elated since then.

11:19 PM - November 20, 2013
Reflections On Tarnished Armor
Everything depends upon this call.

11:18 PM - November 20, 2013
-
I know you mean well, but I can't keep going on like this. Your kindness only breaks my heart more.

6:40 PM - November 18, 2013
Fact 34
My first instinct is flight. I will run until you corner me.

to haunt, to startle, and way-lay