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8:37 PM - December 25, 2019
Leaves In The Snow
"I saw the part of you
That only when you're older you will see too
You will see too
I held the better cards
But every stroke of luck has got a bleed through
It's got a bleed through" - flora cash, you're somebody else

1:18 PM - December 19, 2019
This Christmas is different, because I've given up on my expectations. We'll, most of them.

2:37 PM - June 17, 2019
My aunt changed the subject when I said my father never did that for me, when we were discussing my nieces graduation and how much he effort he has put into it. And of coarse, it is my olders sisters influence and his guilt guiding him.

But it still hurts, and especially when aunty is also giving her a hundred dollars.

All I got was flowers, and some regifted, broken crap for my graduation.

And it feels more like a funeral now.

8:38 PM - March 21, 2019
Waking Giants
This is the first time, I've actually sat down to read something other than the back cover of a novel. Flip through a magazine.

I miss being engaged, being able to focus on anything but the dots, and lines.

The beginnings and the ends.

And it wasn't even being sexually assualted, or the second biggest betrayal I've ever experienced that started it.

No, it started with the idea of getting better.


to haunt, to startle, and way-lay

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